Birthday pictures: I haven’t received any of my birthday pictures from my dad yet, hence the lack of posting any. Sorry!
Finals: It has been sort of a weird month, I’ve been swallowed up by the deep black abyss that is finals prior to winter break. I’ve been getting tutored in math two times a week this month and last weekend I took a practice final that covered all of the material I’ve ‘learned’ this semester in math, and I got the oh-so-glorious score of 25%. Really. Mind you, I am not very good at math, certainly not, and am easily intimidated by it, but the previous night I had to work for 12 hours.
Work: This month I’ve been working at least 3 times a week with a three different employers (I’m so lucky to have so much work!), the most difficult work being the catering: I love the cooking part, the overhearing strange conversations part, the eating part, and the learning tons of new culinary skills part, but at the end of an event, I’m the dishwasher. The other day we catered to a very fancy dinner party for 12-15 (?) and I was doing dishes until 1 AM.
License: I (hopefully) get my license this coming Wednesday, I hope I don’t do anything stupid on the test or get skittish/nervous so I’m unable to focus.
Invisible Children: Also, the 17th marks the end of this round of Schools for Schools for Invisible Children. This semester’s fundraising hasn’t been totaled completely, and I think this semester I have learned some valuable leadership skills so that by the time the next round of Schools for Schools begins, I can not only start strong but keep up the momentum with the club and fundraising (that was really hard this semester.)
Baby: My head has been a blur lately. Mainly, now that my mom has been coming into town once a week with the baby for his doctors appointments, I have been uncontrollably sad about everything that has happened. The sadness sort of comes in waves, and when the waves hit, I’m drowning. Never before have I loved anyone more than I love Daniel (Elijah’s new adopted name). I feel more protective, more loving, more emotional, towards him than anyone else in my life. I feel like a mama bear or something, very angry and afraid of what kinds of deep intense feelings this has put into me (i.e. What in the world would I do if I ever see the man who is responsible for this again? What wouldn’t I have done if I had only known what he would do to this baby?) I often wish he had been mine, I would willingly have given up my body and future in order to ensure his health and his future, I would willingly have given everything I have for him, and still would. I didn’t think such a combination of feelings was ever possible.
You are almost to Winter Break–and do just that–consciously give yourself a break! It might take a few tries, but no matter how tempted you are to work, don’t. Just relax.